BRUISED but not BROKEN

juL.06,o8

suddenly i felt so alone. things are not the same as if they were. i lose a big part of my life. i loved him. he's everything to me. but i ended all. its sad to think that i couldnt see his face anymore. no more him. no more us. he didnt even ask me to stay. it hurts. but to think that i loved him more than i knew i could. and he brings out the best in me like no one else could. he's the source of my happiness. i think i could finally let go. not that i dont love him anymore. but i have to. before it may cause me too much pain. that i might think i couldnt manage. well. life is what we make it. if we will just stay in one place we could never move forward. life goes on. and so am i. :) thanks for all. i learned!

"ReaSons wHy i misS heR so muCH .."

a love letter from him.

july 18, 2008

firSt of oL ..

just wanT to saY soRi ..

4 oL the tHings ..

iVe saiD .. iVe doNe ..

oN thaT day iVe cried ..

a Lot oF tearS ruN thRough my faCe ..

like blood iT juzT wonT stOp ..

im So angrY thaT niGht 07/04/08 ..

thAt day is xoXo speCiaL to Me ..

mOr thAn my birtHday ..

tHen thE monThsarY ..

yoU cant eVen say tHe reaSon ..

tHe "3" .. i touGht i wer speciaL ..

buT howD youVe forGet ? ..

yoUre tHe ONLY ONE ! ..

that can say "hapi mantsary"

"iLoveyouxoxomuCH .."

im heRe to exPress my feeLings ..

im noT heRe to teLL you ..

"seLfish answErs .. "

i jusT want to knOw whY ?! ..

whY jenNiFEr ?! ..

im huRtinG so muCH ! ..

tHen u saw tHe piCtuRe ..

yoU donT eVen Let mE exPLain ..

yoUve juSt juDgeD mE ..

eVeryday i think aboUt yOu ..

expLaining stoRies tO oTher peopLe ..

hoW iVe Lost yOu ..

yOu showed mE eVerytHing ..

4 tHat im thanking yOu ..

and yOu know wHat ?! ..

i dOnt want thAt to LasT ..

tHe feELings .. SAdNeSS ..

sPeCiaLy tHe "LOVE" ..

tHat iVe onLy feLt from yOu ..

ONLY YOU jeNN ! ..

jusT from YOU ! ..

theN u wenT hiR in oUR home ..

gEtting yoUr everYthing ..

youRe not sHowing me any fiLings ..

buT we Both know weRE hurTinG ..

HERE IT COMES !

the day of BREAKUP !

damn juZ heaRing tHose woRDs ..

i think my Life fLashes through my eYes ..

(07/07/08)

leTs stop the storY from heRe ..

i caNt finD anything more tO ..

wiPe my teaRS ..

uBos na kC un tiSSue ..

paTi engLish co uBos na ..

cGe m22Log nco ..

magpaGling ca aA ?

ngaun wLa nco para magaLaga seO ..

tiLl hiR

"ReaSons wHy i misS heR so muCH .."

pauLo ..

great thoughts♥♥♥

June 27th, 2008 by loveurown

i once dreamed that im on a place i consider dreamland.

when everything there is perfect.

the ambience. the fresh air that soothes my soul. the flowers that everyone will love to smell. the birds that hums peacefully. the guy i dreamed of. the bliss. it was perfect.

and there’s this guy. in the dreamland. 

as i was walking, i saw him.

i saw a man i never thought could’ve existed.

we fell in love with each other so deeply.

were happy together living there.

no sorrows. no heartaches. only happiness and contentment to each other.

i started a new life with him. i change everything i need to change about myself.

time goes on and on. people around us thinks that we have a perfect relationship.

yes we have.

were damn crazy whenever were together.

were partners in crime.

seems like our world is on each other.

we had our own world.

this man made me fall for him everyday and it bacame a routine.

those sweet times.

he’s my prince and im his princess.

he kisses my feet. cooks food for me.

he does everything i say.

it was perfect.

but as i aged up.

i realized that nothin is perfect in this world.

we dream of something’s perfect but it doesn’t work out that way.

we get hurt. rejected. we fail.

and sometimes it ruins our lives.

sad.

coz sometimes all good things that we expects to last comes to an end.

then we blame ourselves why we let those things happens.

we hate. we curse. till we find our hearts exhausted.

exhausted of the things that we thought were the one who lose.

we became bitter.

not knowing that we are the one who never let those past becomes past.

we hold on to things that we know will hurt us.

instead of releasing pain through forgiveness or whatxoever,

we rehearse it over and over in our minds.

we internalize our anger and sometimes explode it into others.

while our offender has forgotten the offense and gone on with life,

we continue to stew in our pain.

perpetuating the past.

but then i realized.

those who have hurt me in the past

cannot continue to hurt me now unless i hold on to the pain through resentment.

my past is past!

nothin will change it.

im only hurting myself with my bitterness.

for my own sake i learn from it and then let go.

or if not,

it will be a foolish and senseless thing to do.

life is full of uncertainty.

we wake up in the morning not knowing where and how life takes us.

we go with the flow.

we smile. we hurt. we laugh. we cry. we love. we fall.

but then i chose to be happy.

to love. to give my heart out.

because i already knew how it is to be hurt.

yes. its miserable.

but its a part of living.

we dont have to stay sad for long.

i chose to be happy. to be with him.

to love him. not knowing till when we will be over.

because theres him.

the one who listens to things i say in the middle of the night.

who broke my heart. and then fix.

someone who lifts me up when i cant carry on any longer.

that person who hugs me so tight as he can to make me feel secure.

and we will never stop loving each other.

we will never run off even if it hurts us so much.

ryt baby?

we will never forget those butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings.

smiling without any reason.

never let a day passed without txting each other.

endless ‘goodnights’ and iloveyous’

‘mornins’ ‘maen kna’ nothin compares!

now that ive grown up.

i learned. and i know now how to let go.

i know how to make myself happy.

i know how to make others happy.

even when im down. i can make them smile.

sometimes were mad.

we let things that comes out to our mouth be said.

we never cared for each others feelings.

because were mad.

we get disappionted

but the good thing is.

we never stay mad for long.

we love each other. xo much.

im happy because i have him.

we have each other.

im done with heartaches.

my heart broke by piece.

but its not the end of me.

as i said.

im abosulutely sure of choosing to be happy.

once i became cautious of some things.

im afraid to venture out.

i play it safe.

im always trying to avoid risks.

because i fear.

but how could i be happy if i dont let things happen.

it will only keep me from becoming what GOD intends me to be.

last night we picture ourselves to reality.

that we are just passersby.

he said that he is not the one who will stand there waiting for me while walkin down the aisle.

im not the girl he will kiss when he raise the veil.

it hurts me to think.

that someday we will have no choice but to give it up.

it will be over.

god! i hate endings.

i hate happy endings.

i want to go on. with him.

i never felt this overwhelm feelings before.

i want him to be mine.

if i dont ask him to be mine.

ill regret it for the rest of my life.

because i know.

in my heart.

he’s the only one for me

love you babe!

               

1. marcela Says:
   June 27th, 2008 at 6:17 am so in love ka naman! i’m happy for you.
   
2. andy Says:
   June 27th, 2008 at 6:43 pm It’s his loss not yours… move on…. life is a constant change in reality.
   
3. prAninG Says:
   June 27th, 2008 at 8:30 pm ui…
   nak’S
   gudLak jan sa bagO mOng Luv Lyt jen..,’
   hehe..,’ kya mO yAn..,’ ^^,
   
4. ღஜღ ĵ ξ и ń ღஜღ Says:
   June 28th, 2008 at 4:29 am i love reading diz one:)
   thankx for ur commentz!
   i hope i mde the right choice.
   
5. aiZhen Says:
   June 28th, 2008 at 11:52 am i cnT beLive dis girL at oL =)
   shE wriTes and expres heR filingz 4 me .. 4 everyonE tO know how much xoxo sHe Loves mE ! im happY and contenTed
   iloveyou
   sincerLy youRs ..
   pauLo OniA GarCia ..
   
6. miguel Says:
   June 28th, 2008 at 4:29 pm hay! hope i was da one… hehehehehhe!!
   
7. jai Says:
   July 1st, 2008 at 8:23 am wish i was ur prince… ehe…
   
8. prisco Says:
   July 5th, 2008 at 5:42 pm it’s like hugging a cactus
   you know it’s alive but there’s
   now reply..
   the greater you hug it
   the greater pain..
   kasabihan ng mga nasawi sa
   pag-ibig..=)
   
9. MHiZ SASSY Says:
   July 24th, 2008 at 7:42 am ♥nAkx perfect match!
   i think u made dA ryt cHoice!
   gudLuck! dOnt mind dEm juz dO wat mAkes u happy…tc♥
   

* hiDing inSide myseLf *

June 25th, 2008 by loveurown sometimes people are too shy to admit that they need help, or sad, or depressed..
(or whatever reasons why they are so)
they tend to pour out through many different aspects
they go out and drink so hard hoping to forget their problems
sometimes they work a lot so they could stop thinking about other things
at times they laugh their hearts out to hide what they feel inside
but sometimes.
unfortunately
they simply cant
lets just say
they know what causes their sadness.
but they dont admit it.
and sometimes
they cant do anything abt it.
ya. its xad
they want to blame others.
but how?
when you know they might be hurt.
and you dont want it. of course.
you love them.
im sad bcoz i feel unimportant.
to certain people.
i dont know what to do.
i cant insist them to be always there for me.
i know it.
its just that im a little vulnerable.
in some things.
im sad bcoz i feel i gave my BEST
the best of me
but seems not enough.
true.
i feel that i cant make them satisfy for things that i thought is enough for them to be contented.
im sad coz i cant do anything bout it.
im sad.

ditch.

May 30th, 2008 by loveurown

 >>i didnt mean to take you for granted<<

i didnt know

its just..

he said i ditched him twice

im out of reasons.. nvm

he just said i should save it and he dont need it though

he broke up with me

damn! it hurts *a lot actually*

i beg him

but he still chose to leave

he’s still the same

same person i met before

god paulo! will you end these sleepless, cold nights??

im hurting

enough!

=(

pLz..

aiZhen Says:
May 31st, 2008 at 8:14 am

i admit it
my anger and frustrations
turned my eYes bLack ..
and heart’s emotions locked up
that day so ..
so bad ..
i want to .. nvm
i cant afford to lose her
i cant let her go ..
eventhough tHat nightmare almost killeD me
i love that girl so much ..

its just a word.

retrieved messages from the past.
from my past.
cant believe i still got it now.
but its just a word. words.
that had melt my heart.
cheesy! :)

21/02/2007

uhhhmm...anohbahangpwedengMsaBehXahbabaengTohhxkiT ahnaMandbanGganDaneaHparanganghelboLangboLaAngdaTi ngahhetohnahNgahsisimulancoHnahsiJhenmbaetkindmgan daMdameHngagnagmamahalditoEhhqeAhkaheTwlaHakongKar apatanSeloSpaHrinAcohhahahawaGcaHmainGayahhHHheheh eayunanoHpahBahpwEdengmaxaBehnauuBuxannahacohnGxax abhineEngaHplAhinGatanmoHanGsariLimohAhhakoNahaNgn uRzmohhdbdbatintindiHinmcohpanogncoHkunGwalaHkahoo oOhhhindcohmaixipcunGwlaHcaHHooohhhhhxahhhbuhaycoo ohhhayanmedyonasahkalahatinaakonGakingteStiXanahNg aHplaHmabaSahmohtoHngMagandaAhhhehehheanoHBahTwagc ohxahkamYahmmmmalamnaHneaHeonhehehanDamehcohdingka ntahparaHxaHkanyaheEtsKahgustohneaHnahginigitaraha nXahatknakantahanmiSscohntohtagalnahxehnamingindna gkikitaeEpeRohmlapitnaHataHxaNgumuwihinihintaycohn gahEeparaHmqTahcohnaHxahwahhhHhhnauuBxaNnaHtlGahac ohnGxxBhnhhmmmmmmbsTaheonnahEone2walahngspaceginaw ahcongtestiseohhpaRahsulitnamaNkahiTpinalitaneonpr imaRypiCneaHanohBaheaNNNnkakainiSperoheonGustohmoh qeahokLangeone2nahhe2nahhhhWAAAAahhhhho...

06/04/2007

umM..

Bhie WaT caN i Say..

thiS guRL

BaeT saKen N2

peRo MoodY

AntaRay x2 MinxaN

nkaLtakot Xahh Pag Nglt..

Parang NangaNgaen

joWk lang po..^_^

tGal Din Qtan minahal

Ngeon lang Qta nGng..

hehe..

aLam mo Na yan

naAlala coh pa SiNabi mo niNa

"What PReppY WaNts PreppY GeTS"

^_^ qTx QTa hBng Gngwa c0h toh

uUltin coH lang..

bbGay coH GAt QeaH..ayt??

LAVe Qta eE

uhhmmm..

mkHang MtaTpos na Testi conG iTo

Sna NguX2han moh..

Your The Gurl WHo MakeS my Heart bEAts FAsTer ANd SLower At ThE saMe Time

Corny..^_^

geH d2 nlng

laVeYouESowWmaTch.

8~

25/04/2007

i neEd somEtime 4a While Before i Give My HeaRt Away..

12/05/2007

bhie..la lan juz droppN bY..

miSSyahh..mooaawwXXX

17/05/2007

i apreciate evrythin youve don 4 me

anD havin u As mY parTner

im loVin Every sEcond of my LiFe..

misyu.

18/05/2007

LhaBhyuHSHohhmHhattSsss...

21/05/2007

the wendy of my wonderland..

beLle of mY casTle..

anGel of mY heaVen

the bloOd anD musCle of mY hearT

thred of my clothes..

loaD of my cellPhone..

film of my camera

the love of my lyf..

your love stroke strikes me criticallyy..

labyu..

life is so beautiful..

when your with me..

i cant deny...

24/05/2007

the giRl that has the power to

make me cry when shes so mad..

a giRl that can break my heart into

pieces and At moments she repairs it aGain

coz sHes the onLy one wHo caN dO it..

the giRl who hug so tight everytime

SheZ wiT me..

the Girl who always maKes me Smyl

wiTh juSt words..

im aLways teLLin Her iloveyou

buT i think iTs not Enough..

buT most of aLl..SheZ the one..

08~

my heaRt..08

28/05/2007

bhie..

miSS npo Qta..

SobRa..=c

03/06/2007

ikaw lamang ang aking minamahaL..oTso

08/06/2007

HapPy 08~..miSSyaH

laByu..^_^

mwaaaahh

08/24/2007

Now I think we're taking this too far

Don't you know that it's not this hard?

Well it's not this hard

But if you take what's yours and I take mine

Must we go there?

Please not this time. No, not this time.

10/24/2007

.. hmmm ?

Wat can i Sei

tonG babaE n2 ?

si jenN ? kht san m tiGnan

mganDa ean

msYa Q ngn parTe aQ ng buhai nean

kHt konTi nPsya Q ata Xa ?(ATA?)

ngi paRTe dn nG puSo Q ean

mLking bhagi ? buO ?

ahha

di rn to maintindihn

nhhRpan aQ mkacope uP !

damin aLam eE

xA nGa pLa un pinakA "_"

mDali nLn

tiLL hiR

ynGatan m Qn cU man Xa

auiN Ln ^_^

11/3/2007

di cA lan ngwan ng commenT Qn anu anu na snsBe m

gLit na gLit .. seLfish pa

nku nMn

wLa pQn kwenta

dBa pLge nMn ..

tpos aQ Lge pnagbbGyan ^_^

sOri aA ? tiL hir

reQueZ cO !

paULo

01/21/2008

i Love mY guRL xoXo =)03

01/29/08

miSs n Qta

02/4/08

bhiE ..

mhaLnamhaLqta

03~

02/14/08

api vaLentinez =)

02/17/08

misyu ..

loveu ..

02/21/08

.. im xo xori =c

03/3/08

bHie afi "3"

pag nagkita tau papainumin qTa ng kapE

panGaQ =)Lavyu ..

03/19/08

handa akong lakarin ang sikatuna hanggang anonas para sau .. =)

misyu bhie..

i mean Babe ..

03 ..

03/25/08

aken ca Ln aA? =)

tx mco miss na qTa

mhalnamhalqta

3

04/05

WAaaaaaaaaahh Bhie

soRi L8 un bati co aA ?

anun date na PaLa ngaun ?

gs2 co Ln sbhn na ..

haPpy 3 !

mis na mis qTa

sana maGtagaL pa Tau !

gs2 na kita makita

maKasama ..

myakap ..

yngaT ca pLage aA ?

mhalnamhal ca ni pauLo ..

3

04/13/08

haPi bDei

misyuxoxo =c

04/29/08

sarap 2mawa pag kasama ca eE =)

kaw din kea tawa ka ng tawa nun

qla mu aco Ln ? ^_^

namimix co na nga un

gs2 co na ulet manuod ng

sine ksama ca ..

nga pLa ?

un singSinG ..

aLagaan m un aA ?

sLamat po xa Lhat ..

as in sa Lhat ..

mhalnamhalcanipauLo ..

alagaan m sariLi m

sana mkta na kita uLet

mei nkaLimutan pB co ?

uhhmmm ..

totoo ankuLit m nun xa ring

pag gs2 m gs2 m =)

wlang pDen pumigil

xa Lhat ng ginagwa co

ni isang seGundo di

ca nwLa don ..

.. 3

05/01/08

.. mLapet na mag treZ ..

onlyn aco 2log pa aTa .

haii ..

alix nco bhie

mei pasok pco

labyu ..

05/02/08

baBe aFi "3"

mixyu xoxo

pauLo oNia Garcia

05/21

loveyu babY

misyu ..

05/31

sori xa mga nsbe co ..

labyu ..

3

06/03

hapi 4tH ..

misyu ..

gs2 na qta mkta ..

mLpet nco muwe

mhalnamhalqta ..

3

06/13/2008

uhhmm ..

e2ng gaben gngwa co to..

qTx qta tiPid m mgtx ..

ansunGet m ..

i juz dont know ..

di qta maintindhan ..

cguro mei rason ca ..

sumasket xe =) ..

xa tOtoo Ln ..

yoQ ng gnun ca ..

Lalo nan ngaung sobran namimis qTa ..

nhhrpan aco ..

ind co aLam ssbhn co ..

ggwen ..

yNgatan m saRili m ..

ai e2 ..

nGtx kpa na msket uLo m oh =)

but stiL gnon pden ..

mLameg ..

ind man Ln xa ngudyt

thoXe swit gudynytz from u ..

khpon nMn ..

iniwan mco sa eRe ..

di ca nagpaaLam bgo umalix ..

pro ok Ln ..

guDnyt ..

m22log nco ..

those sweet words..
that made me bloom :)
words of wisdom of the past.
past.